RnR Savannah Half Marathon... I'm back!

So it's been just a hair over 3 months since I was cleared to return to running. I know that's not exactly a lot of time to essentially start over, build a base, and prepare for a half marathon. In no way is it ideal. However, this race was not so much about me going out there with blazing speed, but it was a mental hurdle for me to prove that once and for all, I am still a runner and my favorite distance is still attainable.

My training from the end of July until now had been pretty uneventful overall. The hip remained happy. The only real aches/pains I had was actually about 2 weeks before the race when my right shin decided to start acting up - meaning I pretty much stopped running cold turkey out of fear of shin splints.

I had signed up for this race at the 2011 RnR Savannah HM so this was a long, long time coming. Charlie was running his first marathon this weekend too, and that proved to be a good distraction for me, as he needed a few pep talks in the days leading up to the race. It kept the focus off of me and my fears, including the following: (Should I really be running this yet? What if I trip and fall AGAIN? What if this isn't fun and it makes me question running anymore?)

We drove down to Savannah midday on Friday and went straight to the expo. It was a phenomenal expo, probably the best I've ever seen. Lots of great gear, I ended up with a few small items (socks and head bands) and Charlie grabbed a pair of Brooks shorts. Got our bibs and packets and we were good to go. Had a fantastic meal at Boars Head and back to the hotel for an early night.

Got up early the next morning to first work on the GI system: ate my peanut butter & banana bagel and drank about 6 oz of Coke. Then got dressed, did the hair and all that jazz. I think it's hilarious that I spend more time worrying about my racing clothes and how I'm going to fix my hair for a race than I do in any other facet of my life. But I do. This was also the first race I've ever done without wearing a cap. I did several training runs with headbands and really liked them so this was my first race to do so. Also wore a new skirt from Running Skirts:

The hotel was less than a mile from the start line. The weather was perfect, about 50 degrees and clear without any wind. We had a nice leisurely stroll over to the corrals about an hour prior to gun time. By the time we got there, we were ready for 1 last visit to the portapotties and we were set. Race photographers were EVERYWHERE and we got our picture taken several times while waiting around.

Didn't do a warmup like I usually do before a race but this was intentional. I honestly wanted to take the "marathon" mentality of letting my first couple of miles be my warm-up, just to prevent me from doing any more miles that day. My longest training run since being injured was 10 miles so I was still trying to be careful from extra wear & tear.

Charlie and I also had made the deal that we were going to try to stick together. The marathon and half marathon courses didn't split until after mile 11. We realized the last couple of months just how much we love running together and thought this would be extra motivation for us both, and would help keep Charlie in good spirits for the start of his marathon if his nerves were getting to him.

Our other idea was that we would walk through every other water station. Neither of us like getting water/gatorade every mile, and this course offered support about every 1.5 miles. So the every 3 mile-ish idea was perfect. And mentally to know you get a walk break every 3 miles based on each of our training was spot on.

Charlie was assigned corral 15 and I was assigned corral 4 (obviously BEFORE I knew I was going to miss 6 months of running this year). I happily stepped back to corral 15 with him. I did some jumping jacks and jogging in place to get things pumping and felt great. Being RnR, there was some great pre-race music piped in on the speakers and we were totally ready to run.

Right at 8 AM, the first corral took off and they were spaced about 75-120 seconds apart. In the end it was about a 17-minute wait before we hit the start line. I love corral starts that run smoothly!

The sun came up not long before the race started and there was still no wind. It was perfectly cool and sunny. I cannot ask for more perfect weather for a race. It stayed in the lower 50s until I was over halfway done.

The race was fantastic. The course support wasn't as good as last year, but last year was the inaugural so naturally there was a little let down. But it was still great. RnR & Savannah did a really good job at improving the course too. We were in the Historic District a lot longer this year than last which made for a really beautiful course full of large oak trees.

Mile splits:
Mile 1: 10:55
Mile 2: 11:03
Mile 3: 10:55
Mile 4: 11:27 (with the walk break)
Mile 5: 11:05
Mile 6: 11:08
Mile 7: 11:39 (with the walk break)
Mile 8: 11:14
Mile 9: 11:11

So yeah, these were pretty freaking amazing splits. They could not have gone better to tell the truth. I don't even think my HM PR (2:15:08) from last year had splits this good. Too bad it didn't last.

Mile 10: 12:18 (with the walk break) Also really started slowing down here. My right hamstring started whining a little. Not painful yet, but just a little, "Hey, I'm here. I really am. Hi."
Mile 11: 12:01 No walk break here but still going slow. Said bye to Charlie here and honestly that was a bit sad. It was really nice to have him with me. Hamstring fussed a bit more, more along the lines of, "Hey, I'm getting grumpy down here. You better start being nice. Now."
Mile 12: 13:30 (multiple walk breaks) So began the slight up and down (really ever so slight) hill. And then began the uber, uber tightness in the right hamstring. Not the hip, but the hamstring supporting the said previously-injured hip. Where I know I'm still overcompensating and not as strong, blah blah blah. I started getting down on myself here a little, mad at myself for being so damn proud for the first 9 miles when I couldn't keep it up.
Mile 13 + 0.1: 16:12 UGH, I couldn't run to save my life. I'd take a few running steps and that damn hamstring freaking screamed at me, "STOP NOW YOU IDIOT. I'M NOT HAPPY." So then I'd walk. I really wanted a rolling pin to run over it cause I just KNEW that would make it all better. But of course they don't have these along the course. I did the best I could. My race photos from that last mile are pretty pathetic looking. I was getting more and more down on myself because I knew I just had to get up that last little tiny miniscule hill and turn right and I would see the chute, but getting up that last little tiny miniscule hill was proving to be really freaking hard. But alas, I did, and I was able to put together a mini-shuffle of a jog to get across the finish line. And then I wept happy tears and I forgot all about that silly little hamstring.

Yep, I hate getting emotional. I admit it. But I was oh-so-happy at that point. I made eye contact with one of the folks handing out the medals and had probably the sappiest smile on my face when I took it from him. He had no idea what that meant to me. All the sadness, anger, not to mention pain dating back to December 29 when I first tripped and fell, dislocating my hip. He didn't get that. But I didn't care. I was on cloud nine. I just finished my third half marathon, 10 months after the injury, 8 months after surgery, 3 months after being cleared to return to running again.  

Final time: 2:34:09. 11:48 pace.

Here's us after we were both done:

After I got my medal, in a daze I grabbed two bottles of water and went and got my finish photo taken. I drank about half a bottle of water (not that I felt thirsty at all, actually). Then I found the chocolate milk (my favorite post-run treat) and the Snickers Marathon bar (yum) and a banana, and I was good to go. I don't think the smile came off my face for a good hour. And the hamstring literally stopped hurting by the time I was completely out of the chute.

In summary, it was a fantastic race. My goals coming into the race were below:

Goal A: Finish below 2:30.
Goal B: Finish faster than NYC (2:36:02).
Goal C: Finish.

Clearly I didn't achieve Goal A. But that was seriously my A goal (reach goal). I told Charlie beforehand I'd be ecstatic but I didn't think it would happen.

And of course, I'm okay with that, because again:
 - I have only been back running for 3 months
 - I had one run of 10 miles prior to this race since injury
 - I only had one week where I was over 20 miles for the week (that one was 22)

But I did get my B goal, which I find hilarious. See above. And I was still faster than my first half marathon!

Three days later, I have absolutely zero soreness or pain. (Did some dancing in the living room with Bella yesterday which included the cupid shuffle, electric slide, and some hula-hooping. Then spent 1.5 hours in the pool today with her. This will be my post-race plan every time, because I feel amazing.)

Boy this was long, but I do get a bit wordy when it comes to running. I don't have any races planned any time soon (my work schedule makes this a bit difficult) but I do have some plans in the next year. I WILL get my sub-2:00 HM one day. So now to keep building my base properly, then start working on speed after that. Hope to make all of the following races in my future:

Oct 2013 Myrtle Beach Mini HM
Jan 2014 Charleston HM
Feb 2014 Disney Princess HM

Back to racing! Ray Tanner Foundation 12K

So I finally got to run my first post-injury race. It was a doozy!
The Ray Tanner Foundation in Columbia, SC puts on an amazing race through Columbia that finishes at the USC baseball stadium on home plate. Yes, I know, I'm a Clemson Tiger and I despise those gamecocks.

But:
(1) It's a great charity I'm happy to support
(2) It's probably the best organized race I've ever done (I did the 5K last year)
(3) The post race food is the BOMB (hot dogs, PB&J sandwiches, snow cones... baseball fare)
(4) It's in Columbia so my parents got to meet us out there
(5) They have a kid's race so Bella got to participate too.
(6) Charlie ran WITH me!

I had originally signed up for the 5K but as my rehab/training went so incredibly well, I moved up to the 12K. The race director actually allowed me to move up at no additional cost to congratulate me on post-injury training and also what he called "a family discount". Yeah, we'll keep coming back to this race with that kind of support!

Charlie has been nursing plantar fasciitis in his right foot, so he has pulled back on the running a bit to give it rest for his marathon next month, so instead of racing this one hard, he offered to run with me. I loved the idea! Race temperatures were ideal: sunny and around 52 degrees at the start with a slight wind. Off we went!

Final time: 1:20:14 (10:49 pace)

My splits were: 10:32, 11:19, 10:42, 10:40, 11:11, 10:39, 11:03, 4:00. The 11:19 and 11:11 involved some fairly big hills, and I haven't done a single mile of hill training post-surgery. They were hard and I slowed way down, but I never walked. (If I had, I think Charlie would have kicked my @$$.)

Running my first race back with Charlie was a huge blessing. Because it was a slow, easy pace for him, he was totally comfortable and provided just the perfect level of motivation. He told me I needed to pass someone, but then would remind me to check my pace because I might be a little too fast at that stage. He pushed me to finish strong and remember where I was the last few months and said not to forget how far I'd come.

Ghost 4s are where it's at.

So I have logged 31 miles so far on my Brooks Ghost 4s (the new shoes I last blogged about). I have to say, I love them. Maybe it's all mental, but I have been so comfortable running lately!

I've hit a couple of new records recently:
- did 6 miles for the first time last week
- went "all out" for 2 miles yesterday, at a 10:35 pace

This week I'm going to attempt to get 4 runs in instead of 3 like I've been doing, with the goal of remaining at 4 runs/week while slowly increasing miles.

I also changed my next race from the 5K to the 12K. That's October 13 in Columbia. Plus I have the HM in Savannah in November.

Running is giving me such a positive feeling again. Man, I can't believe I was out of it for SO LONG.

Baby steps, baby!

So today marks the 10th run I've had since injury. That is a pretty cool landmark in and of itself. To boot, I went 4 miles! That's the longest I've run since injury as well! I've done a few 3.1 milers but nothing over that until today. I went on the treadmill at the YMCA. As long as I wasn't looking over at the chick next to me (who was pegged at 7.5 mph the entire time), I was staying pretty darn proud of myself.

This was also my second run in my newest pair of shoes. Last fall I became such a Saucony Kinvara fan, it was ridiculous (I can admit). I love those shoes. They fit just right, they feel so light, they're perfect. And I got the new upgrade to the Kinvara 3 for free when all my awesome friends voted for me in the Saucony Find Your Strong contest. And those shoes feel great! But...

I've noticed my hip isn't always happy the afternoon after I run in them. Not horribly painful or anything, but a nagging soreness for sure. After talking to Charlie, I started to wonder if maybe it was the fact that there isn't a lot of support in those shoes. The whole point is that they have a low heel to toe ratio, and you're lower to the ground to make you more of a midfoot striker. But to do that, there isn't much cushion. So since I'm trying to do EVERYTHING I can think of to protect my hip as I begin to build my endurance back, I decided to try something a bit more supportive. And because it seems EVERYONE I know loves the Brooks Ghost 4, and I know the Brooks line well (since I started with their Adrenalines), I figured it was worth a shot. So here's my shoe porn:



They're pretty sweet. My 1st run in them I noticed that I don't scuff my toes at all. My stride became both shorter and slower with all the time off, so I'm having to concentrate really hard as it is to work on my stride. I don't like scuffing my toe at all (since that, coupled with a bad sidewalk gap, led to my injury in the first place) so I am really psyched that the toe lift on this seems to be helping. Hopefully that continues.

Good news all around. :)

Run #3... Treadmill again...

So I hit the treadmill again today at the YMCA. I used to hate the treadmill but that animosity is certainly NOT there at this point. (Thank goodness.) I did 3 miles in 38:08 which again is way slower than I ran pre-injury (not that I was technically fast before, but my last 5K - 3.1 miles - was 10 minutes faster than this).

I really, truly enjoyed my run today. It helped that (1) I had my daughter's Ipod Shuffle on me today so I had some awesome tunes to run to and (2) the Olympics were on the tv right in front of my treadmill so it was a phenomenal distraction. The US men's indoor volleyball match was quite entertaining and I forgot I was even running there for a little while.

Still no pain in the hip, thigh, knee, calf, etc. WOO HOO! I have been pretty sore the last two days overall but that was generalized and equal bilaterally (nothing on the right side specifically).

It's going to be an interesting week. I start my new job tomorrow (yippee!) so am working weird scheduling all across town for orientation but I want to make sure to get 4 total runs in this week. One is already down though. And my next run will take me to double digit miles for 2012!

SRD #1 (scheduled rest day)

So today was a 12-hour work shift and I don't run on these days. (They are 14.5 hour days once you factor in the time I spend in the car and on the bus.)

It's a good thing. I woke up today really sore. Not hip sore. More like "I feel like I ran a half marathon yesterday." My ankles, calves, thighs, butt, and groin all ache. So two days of running (2.35 and 3 miles) in a row did this.

Can you say, WAKE UP CALL?

Yes, I'm in shape as far as PT goes. But I'm not in running shape.

All the more reason to go run some more as soon as I can. Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!!!!

Running day #2

So today, I decided to venture outside. I went to the Sawmill Branch Canal Trail (for those of you not in the local area, it's a paved path that runs over 6 miles behind the YMCA in Summerville. Totally flat and smooth, perfect for what I need.) I was out there at 7 AM to try to knock out 3 miles. The result?

I had no pain whatsoever. YIPPEE!

It took me about 1/2 a mile to find a rhythm. The first few minutes felt clumsy, awkward, and just plain weird. I didn't know what to do with my hands, my legs didn't seem even. But then it "clicked". Maybe there really is something to the "muscle memory" concept. I felt like I had never stopped running. How GLORIOUS.

Then the heat and humidity hit me. The last time I ran outside, it was a cool & comfortable December day. Today it was already 90 degrees at 7 AM, or something like that. My lungs felt like I was trying to breathe underwater, the humidity was so bad. Blech, I am not acclimated at all. I am going to need to work on the weather piece of this.

Part of me wanted to turn around at the mile 1 mark. I was telling myself, "It's okay to turn around. I just had surgery and I'm just getting back into this. It isn't bad if I call it at 2 miles." But then, the good little angel on my shoulder spoke up (thank goodness) to tell me, "You idiot. You've been wanting to run since December 29th and you're finally here. And you're going to let a little heat stop you so soon? Don't be a quitter, you wimp." I love that good little angel. So I kept right on trucking.

3 miles in 39:24. That averages out to a 13:08 pace. I probably shouldn't bother looking at paces because I think they'll just depress me. All that matters is I'm out there. I love it. I passed a couple of people on the trail (it was really busy this morning) and that felt lovely. Most people passed me, of course, and it didn't bother me. I was just so happy to be out there.

I got back from my run and made myself a strawberry banana smoothie, and it hit me. I feel like a runner again.

I'm a runner again, baby!

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he is my orthopedic surgeon. I say this because:


1. He cleared me to run again (finally) - after 7 months of no running, and 5 months since surgery.
2. I went running immediately after my appointment, ran 2.35 miles in 30 minutes on the treadmill, and did   not feel the slightest twinge of anything painful, sore, uncomfortable, awkward, or anything negative whatsoever. (Okay, I had a side cramp... but that actually made me laugh.)



I went to my appointment in my favorite tech shirt, favorite running shorts, the whole works. I wore my awesome new (free) shoes - the Saucony Kinvara 3s I won thanks to great Facebook friends. Once he gave me the go-ahead, I went straight to the YMCA that we re-joined earlier this summer and ran on the treadmill. Doc says he wants me sticking to safe running (aka - running tracks, treadmills, no downtown Charleston sidewalks). He also said to start off slow, and to not start by doing 5-mile runs or anything.

The beautiful thing is, I stopped at 30 minutes because I wanted to make sure nothing would get sore overnight. I want to run again in the morning. (THIS IS SO COOL TO BE ABLE TO SAY!) I did not stop because I was hurting. It felt GLORIOUS. Seriously. At about 2 minutes into the run, my eyes actually filled with tears. I know it won't always be where the angels are singing hallelujah in my ears, but darn, I'll enjoy it like this while I can. That was the most amazing and emotional run in a really long time. Probably since the NYC HM.

So yep, I'm going to get up early and do a morning run. Woo hoo!

Best part of all... my 2012 running log finally does not show as zero miles for the year. Now it's at 2.35. Yeah baby, yeah! Savannah here we come!

Still status quo.

Nothing much to report, but just in the mood to make sure my journal gets a little love. :)

BUT... My pain has been the best EVER. Work has not been bugging me much at all. I am just a little tired by the end of my 3rd shift in a row but the pain is nearly nonexistent. WOO HOO!!! This is the most lovely thing to report.

I have also had to "run" a few times to catch the bus after work, or chase my 5-year-old at the beach when she gets too far away. Nothing for real but hey, little bits are still fun.

Still going to PT once a week and they're getting really creative with my exercises. Admittedly I have taken a couple of hiatuses as far as home PT goes (trip to ATL and time around our 5-year-old's birthday party). But other than that I'm on track.

August 1st is my next appointment. I have been watching all of the Savannah Rock N Roll Half Marathon posts on Facebook with glee and excitement. But I need to start running soon so I can start preparing for the race!!!

Yep, it's been a while.

I know I haven't blogged much lately. What with being back at work, and our 4-year-old graduating from preschool (and thereby, home every day), time is precious. And to be honest, I haven't really had much to say.

Work has still been difficult but it's getting better. I'm still pretty sore, usually around the 2nd day. I'm still doing PT but it's losing its luster (aka, I'm getting bored).

So I finally saw my orthopedist again yesterday. He said I'm doing awesome. My range of motion in every which way is exactly the same as my left (healthy) hip. But STILL NO RUNNING. ARGH. He took a while to explain to me that it will likely take a year for me to be back to normal and this was such a rare but serious injury so I need to take it slow, blah blah blah. Maybe next time. And he said he'll probably only clear me to do things like run the straightaways and walk the curves on a high school track.

UGH. This is not going as I want. I want to run. I need to run. And I am NOT patient. The Savannah HM is looking less and less likely.

NEW SHOES!

So I was on the way home from work yesterday (about 7:45 pm) when Charlie calls and says, "So I figured you'd want to know the UPS man just left. I just brought the box inside." And I'm thinking, "Umm, what did I order? I just did an online order for birthday party supplies but I didn't overnight it." And then he says, "I called because it's from Saucony."

I squealed.

These are my new, awesome running shoes I've been drooling over since last fall when I first heard they were updating my favorite running shoe (Saucony Kinvara 2). The Kinvara 3s weren't even released until May 2012. I won one of their weekly contests (thanks to an awesome Facebook family!) and have been waiting anxiously for them to arrive. But they weren't supposed to get here for a couple more weeks.

Anyway, here they are! Now I really, really, REALLY want to go for a run. (PS - I'm changing the laces out on one shoe to the pink ones. I decided to mismatch. I'll post a photo of that another time.)

In other news, I worked 3 shifts in a row again last weekend, and it was ROUGH on my hip. *sigh* I ended up needing pain meds when I got home after the 2nd shift. Not intense, sharp, acute pain like pre-surgery. But very, very tight and sore. I'm really glad the next couple of weeks, I don't do 3 in a row.

Once Charlie is home for the summer starting next week, I look forward to many more days of swimming laps. It's hard to do that when I'm home with Munchkin. But once he's home, I'll definitely be hitting the pool daily. My PT gave me extra ideas to do in the pool, in addition to swimming laps, so I am excited.

Less than 3 weeks til I see my doc. I NEED TO RUN!

Strangers can still hurt my feelings...

I don't know what I'm more upset about today... the rude comment that a random stranger made about me, or the fact that I'm letting it bother me.

So I'm at PT today. The place was full, and I was doing a zig-zag walk across the office with a resistance band around my ankles. There was an older man there doing PT and a woman was with him (wife? sister? I don't know). Anyway, she says to me, "You must be here to lose weight, because you make the exercises look easy." WHAT?? A couple of things here:

1. Could you be any more rude? Okay it's great that you think I make the exercise look easy (it sure isn't, so that's good.) But you think I need to lose weight? This isn't what I want to hear. I've gained almost 15 pounds in the last 5 months (from being immobile, continuing to eat like I was still running, and probably some of that depression-induced overeating too). And I'm not excited about it at all. I had worked so hard and got my body to look exactly how I wanted it, and it all went out the window when I fell. So now random stranger is telling me I need to lose weight. That does wonders for my self-esteem, let me tell ya.
2. Who goes to physical therapy to lose weight anyway? I mean, if I wanted to go anywhere to lose weight, I'd go to a gym and get a trainer. I wouldn't go to physical therapy.

I tried to tell myself that she didn't say what she meant. But it still bugged me. I hate that my weight is a sore point, but it is. And I hate that I let her comment bother me. But it did; it does. And that makes me feel even worse.

Other than that, PT was great. Tried a couple of different exercises. And my PT gave me a couple of other ideas to try in the pool when I go, so that was cool. 

Tomorrow will be a better day, darn it.

The pool is cool.

First things first, I just got back from swimming at the big YMCA pool. I used a board and went 10 full laps (1 lap = out + back; I think that's what swimmers do). Lots and lots of kicking! I stopped at the halfway point on most laps to stretch the hip in different directions and make sure everything felt okay. And it did! It felt great! Oh, I must go to the pool daily. Wish I had time to do that 7 days a week but that would require me to swim at 4 am on the days I work and I am not going to make that sacrifice. So 4 days out of 7 will be fine. Ha!

I worked 3 shifts in a row this weekend, which I was a little concerned about but had the new exercises in my back pocket. I used them throughout and it worked great. I was sore starting at the end of the 2nd shift and hurt that night in bed. My 3rd shift (yesterday) wasn't as bad. (Now, I did float over to the unit with all the little babies so that actually ended up being a good thing for the hip I think.)

Lots on the agenda this week - plan to go to the Y every day in some fashion, plus my PT session on Wednesday.

And my 2 new running skirts arrived on Saturday! YIPPEE! So I already owned 2 skirts (both from runningskirts.com) that I had bought at a significant sale price. I really can't afford their regular prices. But they fit so well and are so fun to run in. So I had a great coupon and found a couple of skirts already on a really good sale. I have more motivation to lose this weight and get ready to run in a few more weeks (come on MD!) Here's the ones I got. So excited!! Sure wish I looked like this in them right now. LOL

Much happier post today

So this is going to be a much more positive post than yesterday's. PT yesterday afternoon was wonderful. And I went to the YMCA today!

1. My PT knew something was wrong as soon as I walked in the door (by reading my face). She reminded me that I should be pretty proud of the fact that I worked 2 shifts in a row and only hurt for the last half of the last day. My body needs to re-learn being on my feet all the time.

2. She gave me some super awesome ideas about exercises to do at work, and also gave me ideas when to do them. For example, there are some standing leg lifts I do (normally with resistance) that I could do at work while I'm pulling meds out of the Accudose machine. I never would have thought of that. Kudos to her. She also taught me a couple of new exercises and stretches that are more at-work-friendly too.

3. After PT, I did feel a lot better physically. I still was hurting, but not like I was prior. I skipped several exercises and we went for a "short day" but the ones I did do, felt really, really good. She reminded me that standing causes a lot of tightness, so I needed to counteract that with the exercises I did yesterday.

4. I woke up feeling better today, just slightly sore, so I did all my home exercises and went ahead to the YMCA. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical at a slow pace and it felt great, no issues whatsoever.

5. Then I got in the pool with Bella. And although I was being a mommy and needing to keep an eye on her, I was able to do a good bit of kicking (a la backstroke and freestyle, but with a noodle and in-place). That felt fantastic. Wish we could have been members of the Y all along, it would have been nice to do this before now (but we were saving money of course).

So all in all, my mood is restored. I'm still a little worried about working 3 shifts in a row this weekend (and every weekend) but maybe with my new ideas and new workouts, it won't be so bad.

So I worked two in a row...

Sat/Sun back-to-back shifts and I'm hurting. *sigh* I did great on Thursday and on Saturday. But about halfway through yesterday's shift, I started having some pain. And it hasn't stopped. It's not awful, but it's definitely there. Took my first pain med this morning in over a month.

Now, the clear head of mine says, "Well duh. 12-hour shifts sometimes made me hurt PRIOR to getting injured. So of course my first consecutive shifts are going to cause some pain. I've been a bum (other than PT) for the last 4.5 months."

But the anxious rest of me says, "What am I supposed to do about it? I've got to work. I'm doing 3-in-a-row so I can keep my WOW contract from here on out. So I'm going to be miserable this weekend since I start my Fri/Sat/Sun rotations in 4 days. Am I going to hurt forever? Am I going to be able to work like this?"

Ugh. I wanted to go to the YMCA today to do ellipticals and swim, before PT this afternoon. Clearly that isn't happening. I'm a little worried about PT alone. But it'll also give me the opportunity to ask about some exercises or stretches that I may be able to do at work if I start to have pain.

I'm sure part of this is the fact that I was SO excited that Thursday and Saturday went so, so well. So I figured I was good to go. So some of this is disappointment and frustration. I'm sure I'll feel fine tomorrow and my mood will snap back too.

Awesome day!

So yesterday (May 10) was my first day back at work, which meant 12-hour shifts on my feet (why my MD took so long to approve me to go back to work). And it was a total success. Around 9 hours in, I started feeling a little sore and tired but that was it. No pain.

Whew.

I figured I'd be fine, but that isn't to say I wasn't nervous beforehand (albeit that was mostly mental, afraid I'd forget how to do my job type stuff). But I am fortunate to work with an AMAZING team of nurses and techs who took excellent care of me. I had an easy assignment, and folks kept checking to see if I was feeling okay. I was a little more purposeful in sitting down than I used to be pre-injury, so that was good. I'm off today and then work Sat/Sun this weekend.

Can I say, I love my job?

On a separate note, a few weeks back, I had entered a contest run by Saucony, the makers of my beautiful, favorite fabulous running shoes called Kinvara 2s (see this post: I love talking about running.) The contest was a week-long and you had to send in pictures of what inspired you to run. Well, for me, that's easy. Rachael. She's why I started running (the NYC Half was for charity in her memory). So I entered one of my favorite pictures of her and had so many of my awesome Facebook friends and family vote for me. Well I found out yesterday that I officially WON!

I get a new pair of Saucony Kinvara 3s!!! Again, see this post: I love talking about running where I was drooling over these. I've been waiting with great anticipation for these for over for six months when I first heard the changes they were making to the Kinvara 2s. These just went on sale a couple of weeks ago. Yippee!!!

Apparently they will ship in 4-6 weeks. Lovely timing, I might add, considering my orthopedic surgeon told me on Wednesday that when I see him in 6 weeks, he will probably clear me to run (though I have to start on the treadmill).

Well, I got 1/2 of what I wanted.

1. MD released me to go to work. YAY! So I'm going TOMORROW!

2. MD did not release me to run. BOO.

So I admit, I understand where he's coming from. He went through my range of motion stuff and said I'm still really tight in a couple of directions. He said he is so incredibly more-than-pleased with my progress, but I still need to be further along before I attempt running again. He says we're still only 2.5 months from surgery and I need to be a little stronger because it was such a weird, out of this world injury.

When I do return to running, he asked that I avoid downtown Charleston and stick to flat, paved courses or tracks. That, I totally understand.

He still wants me going to PT but now just once a week instead of twice. So that's improvement. And I have no physical restrictions at all, other than running.

He suggested I spend lots of time on bikes, ellipticals, and swimming. I have no access to any of the above but will probably re-join the Summerville YMCA this week so that I have that access for the next couple of months. I need to do as much as I can because my cardiovascular fitness is still awful and although I have been doing lots of core and strength training, I have lost all aerobic ability. And I need to lose all the weight I've gained in the last 4.5 months.

So some good news, and some bad. I know it's for the best. But I want to run badly.

Finally, he said I will definitely be a case study that he wants to present in the future. I told him by all means. :)

Tomorrow, ACK!

Feeling a bit nervous about tomorrow's appointment with my orthopedic surgeon. It's weird. After 4.5 months, I expect him to release me to return to work and also to attempt running again. And although I'm really excited about both, I'm also getting really anxious.

What if I go to work on Thursday and it's way harder than I thought? What if after 4 hours, all I want to do is lie down? What if I'm just exhausted? What if my hip actually really hurts, when I haven't had pain in weeks? What if *gasp* I forget stuff I need to know for my job? I mean, darn, I haven't taken care of a patient since New Year's Eve. I am going to be way rusty. I miss my kids and my co-workers immensely and I need to feel like I'm contributing to the world again. I'd also like to earn a paycheck. I'm just way more nervous about this than I expected.

And then for running... What if I start running, follow all the suggestions from both MD and PT, and it is really really hard? Harder than it should be? I know I won't be fast. But what if every run is just painful and horribly slow and completely un-enjoyable? That would make me incredibly sad. I want running to give me all the same emotional highs and feelings of freedom and satisfaction and pride that it used to. But if it doesn't? Ugh.

I'm sure I'm just overanalyzing in typical Lori fashion. I guess I just really want to fast forward a couple of weeks and get past the growing pains of this.

PT, check!

So I may have seen my physical therapist for the last time today. *gasp* Well, to clarify, I still go on Monday but she won't be there. She doesn't expect my MD to continue my therapy (except my home exercises of course). So weird.

I did the treadmill again today, walking of course, and I set the speed at 4 for 10 minutes. That's about as fast as I can walk on that thing without breaking into a jog (which I wanted to do). Only went 0.66 miles.

Then she had me "jog" on a little mini-trampoline for 2 minutes. Halfway through she asked how I felt. My response? "I feel like slinging open the front door and coming back in about an hour after a nice jog through the city." Ha! She said there's no reason the MD shouldn't clear me to run next week. Woo hoo!

Now I need to buy an exercise ball so I can do my Supermans, crunches, and squats.

Last night we went to a member's preview at the Aquarium to check out the new Madagascar exhibit (read: lemurs, hissing cockroaches, parrots, Nile crocodile, and bunches of frogs and geckos and the like). Last time I went to the Aquarium I required use of a wheelchair to get around (the crutches would have worn me out). So this was going to be great, sans crutches. I got around pretty well, except for the stairs. I can go down stairs fine. But going up the stairs, I still feel the annoying patellar tendonitis in the right knee when I lead with the right leg. That pulling up motion doesn't feel so good. I want to feel 100% normal and I'm about 90% (I'm not including running in this; just talking about pain and range of motion). But then again, it's only been 2 months since surgery. I just wish the knee thing would go away. I didn't hurt my knee, I hurt my hip, so I would like my knee to cooperate, please. The good thing is, walking makes it feel very happy. Running had better do the same. *wink*

I love talking about running!

So at PT today, my therapist told me that I may only have 2 PT sessions left. WHAT?!?!?! Okay, I know I should be going back to work next week, but I figured I'd still be fitting PT visits in there too. She says that all I'm working on now is strengthening and balancing, and I have achieved all of the goals I needed to to "finish". There will still be tons of exercises for me to do at home for the next few months but she said she wouldn't be surprised if the MD tells me next week that I don't need to go anymore.

Is it wrong that this makes me feel a little bit sad? I really, truly enjoy going to PT. I've made tons of progress. I guess I'm a little worried that I'll be "on my own" in the big world. I know I'd be able to call with any questions (the girls there are just flat-out amazing!) It's just a little scary.


So with that news, I decided to pick her brain about, well, running. I asked her what she thought I should do if the MD clears me to start running next week. I looked back at my weekly mileage and the last few weeks leading up to my injury, I was averaging 25 miles/week. She said with the 4-month layoff, to cut 50% of that for at least 4 weeks. So, 12-13 miles/week starting out. And that I have to go really, really slow. Which means no more speedwork for a long time (and that's okay, I don't really like speedwork, other than tempo runs. Ha.)

But 12-13 miles/week isn't too bad. I was literally picturing a Couch to 5K type program but she said I don't need to start from scratch. YIPPEE! Of course, she reminded me that the MD may have other ideas but that would be her recommendation.

(Edit to add: I also did 1.02 miles in 15 minutes on the treadmill today.)

On another note, I have started wearing my running shoes to PT the last couple of sessions. If I'm going to be on the treadmill, darnit, I'm going to wear my running shoes instead of my every-day wear sneakers. It's very motivating. Today that triggered the question as one of them complimented my cool Saucony Kinvara 2s - so I got to explain to everyone why I like these shoes and what makes them different and how awesome the new Kinvara 3s are that just came out last week. I should be a saleswoman for Saucony.

These are the Kinvara 2s that I wore today to PT (which currently have 255 miles on them):

I also have these Kinvara 2s, except I changed out the laces and found some awesome neon yellow ones that matched the bottom of the shoe (which have almost 100 miles on them):

And these are the Kinvara 3s that I really, really, really, really, really, really want (still can't decide what color to start with):

SOON!!! :)

Phase 3 of PT

So we kicked it up a notch (or 5) at PT this morning. I walked 15 minutes on the treadmill and went 0.92 miles this time (started at 3.5 mph and was up to 4 by the time I finished). Then I got to try several new exercises and I got to watch as my quads quivered several times. I don't know why but I love when that happens!

I also started using a stepper (think, step aerobics classes) so I can get better at going up and down stairs, which I know is my biggest weakness right now. I still feel fairly unsteady on stairs so am ready to get that behind me.

I brought some cupcakes to the Relay for Life bake sale my unit is having at the hospital and got to see some of my coworkers. I can't believe it's been almost 4 months since I was last at work, and even though nothing's changed, the unit looked totally different. And tomorrow also marks 2 months since I had surgery.

I'm a jogger. Ha Ha.

So my new plan at home is to walk as a warm-up around the neighborhood before I start my 13 daily at-home exercises, just like I've done at PT the last two sessions. Today my goal was to walk for 30 minutes; I haven't had any problems walking and I've got to make sure I'm getting lots of walking in before I go back to work. Nursing is such a physical job and I need to be in great shape!

So in 30 minutes, I made it 1.69 miles today! Pretty snazzy stuff.  And well, I decided to jog the last .19 miles.

I know, I know. I'm not supposed to run yet. But I didn't RUN. I jogged!

(Technicality, I know. But, the 1.5 walking miles were actually at a substantially faster pace than the 0.19 jogging miles. So it was really, truly slow.)

I won't lie, I just had the urge to see what it felt like. I wanted to know if everything would move like it's supposed to, if my form was altered, etc. It was fantastic; nothing hurt, nothing got tweaked. It was just weird, because it's been so, so long. It was also a good reality check for me, because it was a good reminder that when I actually start running again, I'm going to be unbelievably slow for an incredibly long time. (And that's okay too.)

Progress makes me so happy.

First, I went 0.88 miles on the treadmill today, in 15 minutes, without any pain. Then it was on to 15 or so exercises, and I got to try a few new ones this morning. I got some AWESOME burns in my hamstrings and calves today! Getting stronger bit by bit; love it. 

Today also marks the first day I'm going to do a full grocery shopping trip on my own since December! Pushing a grocery cart with crutches is just not feasible so Charlie's been doing all of that. Once I had dropped down to one crutch, I would go to the store for a few things, if I could carry them in a bag. But today I'm going to get the whole week of groceries.

More progress!

0.51 miles, baby!

Yep, you read that right. I went 0.51 miles today! Okay, it was walking. And it took me 10 minutes. On the treadmill. At PT. But it was my first "distance" of any sort since I got hurt. 

Yippee!!!!!

My physical therapist usually starts me on the exercise bike at all of my PT sessions (when I first started post-surgery, it was for only 3 minutes at a time, but I worked up to 15 minutes). This morning she threw me for a curve. She said I could warm up on the treadmill instead, only walking, for 10 minutes to see how I feel.

I never thought I'd love being on a treadmill so much! I started the pace at 3, and ended up working up to a 3.3 speed. I bumped it up to make sure I at least went half a mile in ten minutes; anything less would be unacceptable in my head. (I'm used to covering more twice that distance in that amount of time. Well, when I was running.) 

Is it wrong that I had a little devil on my shoulder that kept telling me to crank it up, just for 30 seconds, to see what it felt like to RUN? No, I didn't listen. But I felt like a kindergartner staring at the cookie jar right before dinner. It was oh-so-tempting. Sickeningly so.

When I got off the treadmill, I told the PT how for the first time in all of my recovery, I wanted to break her rules and break the MD's rules and just run. She said she heard me crank it up a couple of times (when I worked up to the 3.3 speed) and was curious if that had crossed my mind. Good thing I didn't act on it. 

But I can't wait to run. Today was just a little "taste". And it was delicious.

Running is NOT bad for you...

Contrary to what seems to be popular opinion, running is NOT bad for you. 

Yes, I am fully aware that my injury came about because I was running. But guess what... this injury could just have easily happened while walking, or climbing stairs, or any doing essentially any daily task. And considering the fact that I am a klutz - all of those are truly just as likely!

And, it is running that has likely helped me recover as quickly as I have post surgery. If I hadn't been running for over a year, I wouldn't have been in decent shape and would probably still be on crutches right now.

It's amazing the comments I get sometimes... that maybe I shouldn't try running anymore. Maybe I should find another activity. But running isn't just a hobby. It's a passion. It's a part of my life. And I ache that I'm not out there yet. I really do. 

So yes, I fully plan on returning to running when I am cleared. If that seems crazy, well, too bad. I'm much crazier when I'm not running. Trust me.

Time for me to join the rest of the blogging world...

So I decided to start a blog for myself. This is going to be my way to keep track of how I'm feeling with attempt to return to running after major injury + surgery. I probably should have started this when I initially got hurt, but alas, the mood is a bit better these days. If I started this when I first got my diagnosis, I might have depressed myself too much when I came back to read it later!

What started as a way to raise money in memory of our first daughter became a passion, an escape, a release. It also helped me to lose the last of said baby weight (from 2005  - ugh!), to eat better, and to sleep more soundly. I gained self-confidence. I learned to not be a wimp; I began to understand the difference between aches and real pain. Running helped me find solutions for the world's problems (okay, that may be a stretch... but I really did solve several small problems when I had a clear head on a long run!)

And to think, I utterly despised running when I was active duty military. Guess it took my tears of sadness becoming tears of joy at mile 12 of the New York City Half Marathon in 2011 to realize what running does for me on a cathartic level.

The last time I ran was December 29. It was a 10-mile easy run with Charlie in downtown Charleston. The weather was perfect, we were going along at a comfortable pace. And then... At around mile 7.5, I had caught my toe on the sidewalk, where there was a 2" gap. I went flying through the air, and all I remember is some insanely intense pain in my right hip. Turns out I had dislocated it. In the process of the femur head returning to its original home, it tore up the labrum (and also slid it forward out of position), plus caused additional other cartilage damage.

Today, I continue to have occasional nightmares and daytime flashbacks of what it was like when I fell (sometimes I really think I'm nuts).

I was told to take a month to rest and we would re-check the pain to see if PT alone might possibly be a solution (understand we did not understand the severity of the damage at this point - all the MRA showed was the tear). The pain did not subside at all so I requested to move the appointment up. Went back in and I was told that the earliest I could schedule surgery was at the end of March. What??? That far away??? (Now, this is because I have had the most amazing orthopedic surgeon. Lets just say he's a perfectionist in every sense of the word, and is very particular about when/where this surgery takes place; this surgery has only been performed in the United States for about 10 years arthoscopically. I was seeing the right guy.)

I became depressed, but in retrospect, it makes sense. I was in pain. I wasn't allowed to do much of anything other than lie on the couch. I couldn't drive so I was totally housebound except for appointments. I could barely do anything with my daughter or my husband. I watched my 4-year-old grow more and more frustrated with me. I was scared I'd lose my job by missing so much work. And I didn't know how we'd pay the bills (because let's face it, disability payments don't come close to your actual paycheck). And I had to wait two more months just to get it fixed?

But things got better.

Prayers were answered and on February 28, I had arthroscopic surgery to fix my hip. Yay for someone else's cancellation! I dealt with some intense pain that night in the hospital along with a few nasty side effects. But they didn't last long. And I've been a Physical Therapy machine since. My PT and orthopedic surgeon are both amazed with my progress. I have heard more than once from them that I am doing much better than I should be. Little do they truly understand how much of a rule-follower and determined perfectionist that I am. When my orders are to be 50% weight bearing, I take that literally. When PT tells me to do 30 dead-bugs (bizarre looking exercise) every day, not only do I do them, but I take notes on how they make me feel. Every day. I have a journal that is nothing but charting all of my daily exercises. I have never skipped an exercise. I am honest with my PT when something is too difficult, or too easy.

As of now I've nearly retired my crutches. I'm only supposed to use them when walking longer distances. I hope to be back to work in early May and I really hope to be cleared to begin running at that time.  We have had immense support: over three weeks of meals provided early on... transportation to appointments... childcare help... phone calls and visits (and eventually lunches out too!)... a clean house (multiple times)... gift cards... a very understanding boss... and I can't even begin to explain how much my wonderful husband and daughter have helped me and each other through all of this. We have barely even touched our savings account, much less go in the red as I thought we would on disability (thanks to a lot of good advice on shopping smarter, and us learning how to be less spendy! The things we learn...) So many blessings.

So that's the last 3.5 months in a nutshell.

All this to say, I can't believe just how much I miss running. But I'll be back out there soon. I promise. That running gear won't be dusty for forever.